Throwing in, on a whim, Everclear's second album on the way to work today,
I was undexpectedly shot back in time - not to any specific period or
place, but to a state - a state that was chillingly familiar.  Chillingly,
I should say, because it's so similar to how I feel these days.  the first
song,
[so much for the afterglow]
is the one that always hit me.  the media intro to another song, which is
a clip of pseudo-propaganda about antidepressants - that one got me as
well. bam.

hearing all this, I wanted to get into work, drop anything I should be
doing, and write this entry.  as soon as I got in, though, I slipped into
my normal mode of being overwhelmed with how much there was to do, and
besides brief breaks to eat and watch Buffy, worked through 'till 10:30,
at which point I decided I was burnt out and headed home.  exercised
again, though I'm still abnormally pudgy.  Not entirely sure what happened
- it's not like I really watched what I ate that well or exercised
much in the past year, but it's only the past month or so that I've been
disturbingly chubby.  
whole self-image thing reminds me of a bit I wrote down into a random
thought file two days ago:

sometimes I feel like the only thing you need to do to lose trust in other
people is to rely on other people for long enough

non wishy-washy translation (hmm, more similarities to Charlie Brown every
day.  didn't Tom refer to me, though Randy, as "that round
headed kid"?  or even "the guy who looks like Charlie Brown"?  yes, I'm
certain he did, as a matterfof fact.  joy) :

The best way to loose trust in other people is to rely on them.