and you expect me to die here in this shit-filled tiny stall?

it's been a while since a song has elevated itself to the level of 
anthemic in my life, but it has happened again.  alert the media.

I caught myself fantasizing about an elsewhere earlier tonight.  nothing  
specific, just a different situation.  thinking back to it right now has  
gotten me started wondering . . . wondering something.  it's so rare that
I have complete thoughts - my perception of my thoughts reminds me in a   
way of the way I think of a word that I'm pretty sure I know the 
definition of, but don't bother to look up.  have the thought, it creates
a brief image, I assume I know exactly what the image means, and move on  
without considering it further.  train-of-thought writing helps me with   
that, I guess, as long as I can write without thinking about it.

the danger, of course, being that you have a whole lot of text that, when
looked back over, is a large amount of gibberish and banality.  but that's
not exactly an unmanageable situation, now is it.

I think I was trying to figure out recently why I feel like I can get 
along so well with most people (as I see it - I'm often blissfully 
ignorant of people's feelings towards me that should perhaps be more 
apparent.  I think.)  and yet have so few friends.  the obvious answer is
because I'm so picky about who I like.  but even then, I think Christian  
rocks, I think Jeff rocks, and I don't hang out with them socially 
(outside of work or home, in these cases) much at all.  perhaps I need to
put forth more effort.  it could be that my relationship with sarah has   
lulled me into a lazy default of spending all weekend every weekend with  
her, and if those are main socail times, then when else will I see and do
things with other people?  but then, I didn't hang out with christian over
the summer much . . . rather, at all, either.  and it's not like we 
haven't been friends (at work) for quite a while.  er.  because we have.
been friends.  that is.  my thoughts don't always make for coherent 
explanations.  I think most of my good writing is re-written.